deep breaths. . .

I'm very disorganized lately and I apologize.

I haven't been very good about updating the blog and I know that some of you check back often to see our goings-on. So I'll try to be better about that. Quite a bit of family is now on Facebook and that's become an easy, up-to-the-minute way to connect and share little daily tid bits. So if you're not on already. . .ask Aunt Pat. . .she'll teach you how! ;-)

I thought of coming on here at 4:00 a.m. this morning when Cole was screaming in his bed to give you my full effect of emotion. . . but decided against it at the last minute. I can't figure out what the problem is with us lately, but it seems every 3-5 months we hit this patch where he won't sleep through the night. He's up super late, and will wake up crying. . .and he doesn't want anything. . .just to be held and rocked. . .for hours. It's awful.

We thought it might be his teeth (which are still bothering him!), or another growth spurt (as seen by the clothing that all of a sudden is too small, again). . .but we're not sure. Bill and I (I'm not going to lie here. . . it's mostly Bill) deal with his antics and rock him until he's sleeping again. . .tip toe to the crib and lay him down ever-so gently. . .tip toe out of the room and hold our breaths downstairs for about 15 minutes until we know he's asleep.

Anyway. . .it didn't take long for me to string this together with the impending arrival of another child to have a panic attack. How are we going to have two sleeping children, ever? Certainly not in one room. . .and then it hit us. . .we will no longer have our own room. Sigh. I pictured myself holding a screaming baby and listening to another screaming baby through the monitor and wished I could have a drink. At 4:00 a.m.

Eventually I went back to sleep and so did Cole. . .but that thought of "oh no. . what did we do?" is still in my head. Which, I then realized. . .is probably why I haven't updated in a bit. My update is basically that I'm having daily panic attacks trying to visualize in my head how I will deal with two kids. Putting them to bed. . .feeding them both. . .keeping them both entertained for hours a day. . .just transporting them from point A to B. . .it's all very daunting.

Deep breaths. . .

Anyway. . . besides his sleep habits, Cole is certainly displaying acts of independence. Sometimes it's yelling at the grocery store and laughing when I tell him to stop. Sometimes it's throwing blueberries at the window. And other times it's as simple and running away from me for 30 minutes when I say it's time to put shoes on. Everyday it's something new and usually centers around him telling me he's not going to do what I've asked him to do. So this'll last for what. . the next 12 or so years? Fantastic.

Here he is eating breakfast this week. He wouldn't eat his breakfast in his highchair. . .but it was apparently just fine if I let him sit at the table himself. And so it begins. . .