Could you answer a few questions for me? On potty training, and marrying Hanson?

I really wanted to tell you about how Cole totally used the potty on his own the other day, but I was too tired last night and wanted to make sure you at least knew we were still alive, and still taking pictures.

But now that I've more time to tell you. . .I was putting the kids in the bath two evenings ago, when Cole just leisurely walked over to his potty (which we've had for EVER), and peed in it.  Like it was no big deal.  Like I hadn't been completely begging him to try it for months. 

I just knew this is how this kid would be.

So I took him out immediately for a prize. . .stickers, a chart, new pull-ups...everything I'd ever read that one should do when potty training.

I've even been debating having one of those pee-tastic weekends where you, your child, four cans of Scotch guard and 30 pairs of Thomas the Train underpants go through the boot camp version of potty training.

I chickened out.

I thought I should at least ask your advice about it.  I'm asking for any and all potty training advice out there.  Because the thought of only having one child in diapers. . .is ahhhmazing. 

But, as I'm sitting here in front of the computer, it occurs to me that while I have you willing to answer some of life's pressing questions for me. . .why not take advantage?

So here are some of my other pressing questions that I could really use answers to.  Please. . .answer any that strike your fancy.   Add your own.  It's strangely liberating. . .

• Will that subtle smell of poop ever go away? 
• Will my dad ever rinse the knife he used to spread peanut butter before putting it in the sink?
• When will the baby stop eating stickers?
• When will Cole stop asking if we can return Till to the store?
• Will I ever get as excited about finding great new shoes again as I do when I find a Thomas Train we don't already have in our collection?
• If 40 is the new 30, then can a size 8 be the new 4?  'Cause I'm pretty sure 4 has left the building. . .
• When will Till stop pinching my boobs in public?
• Why was Madonna's "Lucky Star" on the oldies station? And why am I listening to the oldies station?
• While we're on this topic, will my kids think about Bone Thugs-N-Harmony the way I think about Iron Butterfly?  Tragic. . .
• I bought a tankini this year.  There's no question attached to this.  Just thought I should be honest.
• What if you were married to Hanson?
• If I think it's acceptable to wear my running sneakers with khaki shorts to special occasions, have I completely hit rock bottom?
• How about yoga pants to the bank?
• My Red Sox hat to the beach?
• Jeans with worn spots in unattractive places like where the kids wipe their mouths on my thighs?
• Here's a hypothetical: What if I let the baby nibble on a crayon for a little while because it made her stop whining and I knew they were non-toxic?  Me too.  That's terrible.  I'd never do that. . .how do some people even get to be parents?

So help me out, would you?  Give me any potty training advice you possibly can and answer some of these other questions.  Ask your own.  Definitely tell me if your kids have eaten crayons. . .you know, just 'cause I'm curious. . .